Since the modest rise in attention after restarting my personal YouTube channel and launching the MVP version of the Vannoken website, I notice a familiar pattern of pain, showing itself again, in many of my posts.
What led me to believe that developing Vannoken culture was good was how it’s shown only to benefit my/our emotional stability. It was a response to previous pain.

Problem: Post-modern relativism and regressive liberal politics led to the pain of not having a strong sense of identity with a broken family over the process of several generations.

Solution: Vannoken culture.

*New* Problem: A strong sense of a rebuilt identity and stabilized family is leading to pain inflicted by unwanted, though expected, attention from those who do not wish that identity and stability to exist.

Solution: Science. Work. The development of better focus.

This is all actually a good sign. What I believe it means is that the rising pain from the increasing attention is simply calling me to the next stage of actualization.

No matter how well-worded or poised my posts and responses are, no matter how quippy my comebacks, the fact that I’m responding at all (to most) is wasted energy. Period.

It’s still a form of acknowledgment, which is an arguable form of defeat. It’s not total defeat; it’s just not the highest demonstration of success.

With a repaired identity and what negativity its platform attracts, I need to strengthen my focus. You can see the positive attention; though, I’m aware of the negative bias I have against myself. 99 out of 100 people can say something uplifting, but I allow the voice of the 1 hater in the room to echo. And the reason why I allow this to occur is because I do, indeed, question my own sanity.

There’s always the “What if they’re right?”

But, paradoxically, to be open to being categorized as wrong is indicative of sanity. So, it’s just a perpetual state I have to deal with as I progress with being open to constructive criticism.

The psychological platform is established. The website’s up; I’ve explained myself in a scalable way to anyone who visits it. I just need to update it with posts here and there and finish the meta-data of the site.

When I first started exploring the idea of taking responsibility for rebuilding, I noticed how the mental pain faded away.

When I first started delving more into quantum physics and entrepreneurial work, these are complicated subjects that require undivided attention. Therefore, I’ve no choice but to narrow my attention in a way that cuts off painful stimuli permitted by my own neuroticism.

People are going to dislike me; that’s natural. The ghosts of my past will remain in the corner of my mind. That’s my scarring; it’s part of what makes me who I am. And that’s alright: Life is suffering.

What I do hope, though, in leaving these notes, is that when future generations read or hear of this, they’ll understand how to face these mental troubles. Once you’ve re-established a platform based on the completion of acquiring your Maslowian needs, what left is there but to fulfill your purpose?

If rebuilding your culture brings you the inner peace and the mental nutrients you need to progress in your work, then you’re doing the right thing. It’s natural that there would be external factors trying to disrupt your focus. Though, as long as your inner structure is strong, then stay strong. Stay the course.

Focus on your work. Focus on your family. Focus on what you designed your new psychological platform for, to begin with. If you focus on your work and family, then you won’t have the attention span to notice people trying to disrupt your peace.

All else is a distraction.